Preparing for marriage/motherhood

Over the last several months, I have sporadically had thoughts about what it means to prepare for being married or being a mother for those single women out there who have one or both of those in their sights.

When I say sporadic, I do mean very irregularly, so this post is more of a get it out there thing. It's going to be raw. That said, here I go.

If someone had asked me as a single woman, or even as one in a relationship, how I was preparing to be a wife or mother, I think my eyes would have glazed over and I would have wondered what on earth they meant.

Now that I am in the season of 'wifehood' and motherhood, having had to learn (and continue to learn) what it means to fill both of those roles in a Biblical way, I SO wish someone would have CLUED ME IN when I was filling neither role.

Aside from some premarital sessions before getting married, nobody was talking about what it meant to fill the godly position of being a wife. Or if I heard comments by women about being married, they always had this little bit of a sarcastic tone to them that, to my ignorant mind, came off as a deeper level of woundedness or dissatisfaction with their own marriage. Yuck!

Finding myself later in love with a handsome man :) I still didn't know you should prepare for marriage... we just love each other right? Maybe people in my former church were talking about preparing for marriage to the single ones, but it certainly wasn't to me. Some of these things were totally easy, others harder. Mainly I am seeing a lack of preparedness in some young women I see and think they would benefit from, well, preparing.

Spiritual/relational matters are not even what I am talking about. That could be a post all on its own. I am talking practicals here. Maybe some of these things are normal for some young women and they just need to know it's not only for themselves, but UNTO being a helpmeet to a man later on...that's pretty easy. For others, a BIG switch.

I will list a few things that come to mind, even at the risk of sounding a bit 50's housewife-ish. Overall I am thinking about Titus 2:4-5 Biblical Womanhood.

*cleanliness. Take a shower. :) Seriously though, do you keep a clean living space? If tidy-ness and order do not characterize your life, will they suddenly be part of it when you get married and it's your job to be the keeper of the home? Not likely. Practice learning how to keep your space neat and tidy, and learn how to clean. ...regularly. It really matters, not just for you, but your man will appreciate it.

*learn to cook. Unless you marry a chef, you will be primarily responsible for nourishing your family. I am not talking gourmet, but at least two weeks worth of different, easy, healthful dinners to get started would be helpful. We're all guilty of serving up the box of mac and cheese, but we all know the nutrition is about as good as eating some cardboard.

*time management. You have to be a planner. This is a tough one unless you are naturally inclined to be amazingly self-disciplined. I know this ebbs and flows for me, especially if I lose sight of the vision for why I am doing this. But really, that healthful meal will be on the table if what's for dinner is not the question asked ten minutes beforehand.

We are called to serve others, and when you are married, the first one is your husband. The above things make a difference!

I know there are more, but it's getting late and my brain is tiring. I will write more on this and the mothering side of this soon.

All of us come with our strengths and weaknesses, I have my fair share of flaws like the next person. But I do know that if someone had talked to me about getting vision for what it means to be a wife, both spiritually/relationally and practically when I wasn't one, it would have helped me from having to figure this out in the crash course of hands on experience. If what you want is not what you are, it won't happen when you say "I do". That's where vision comes in, it helps you start doing those things now to prepare for then. (These are all spiritual principles that carry over into this, as you may have figured.)

Write the vision and make it plain! Hab 2:2

to be continued...